Before I begin, if you don’t have Ulcerative Colitis (UC) – don’t stop reading. This is relevant to everyone – whether you have UC or not.
Before I was diagnosed in 2006, I had heard of Ulcerative Colitis, but only because I was working for a pharmaceutical company that was conducting research and clinical trials with Crohn’s and UC patients. Together, UC and Crohn’s only affect about 1 million Americans so unless you have it, know someone who has it or work in the medical or health field, it is unlikely you have heard of it.
For those who don’t know what UC is – Ulcerative Colitis is an inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) that causes chronic inflammation of the digestive tract. Symptoms vary depending on the location and severity of inflammation, but common symptoms include abdominal cramping, fatigue, bloody stools and / or diarrhea, and frequent urgency or inability to eliminate. It can be debilitating and sometimes lead to life-threatening complications. There is no cure.
So where was I? Over the past 3 years I have spent countless hours on various UC websites and blogs, and to be honest, the majority of the blogs show the sad and depressing side of UC; the side that is confined to the house due to lack of energy and the constant need to be close to a bathroom and the woes of colostomy surgeries and j pouches. This is not my side of UC. Not anymore… I changed my diet and lifestyle. You wouldn’t know I had a disease unless I told you.
The other day I read a post on a blog written by a woman with UC who spoke about why she never travels – especially by airplane. She is afraid that she will have to use the bathroom before the “fasten seatbelt” sign is turned off. May be this woman is you. Can you imagine what that must be like? Whether you can relate to this woman or not is irrelevant. She has surrendered to her disease. I love to travel! I LIVE to travel! Of course there were times when I was nervous on an airplane or long ride in the car, but I have never declined an opportunity to travel because of my disease. It doesn’t own me.
So what is your “disease”? Do you surrender to it? Or does it surrender to you?
We learn the most about ourselves when we experience a challenge in our lives, when we have to test our strength and character. When we are successful, healthy and comfortable with our life, what is there to worry about? Our friends are plentiful – who doesn’t want to be around someone with that kind of energy? What do we have to lose when we are “on top of the world”?
But what happens when we lose our job, a loved one, a big investment, our health or may be our house – when life stops being comfortable? How do we react? Do we surrender or do we take a deep breath (may be 2 or 3) and keep on truckin’? Do we whine to anyone who will listen to us or do we stay optimistic?
Was I emotional when I first got my diagnosis? You bet I was.
Did I have a “Why me?” moment? You bet I did.
Did some of my “friends” stop calling and wanting to get together? Unfortunately, yes, but I reminded myself that anyone who can’t stand beside me and support me in a weak moment isn’t really a friend. I also made new friends that were more understanding and open minded.
I learned to accept what I could not change, and that was when my healing really began.
So let me ask you again – what is your “disease”? How do you look at it? Eyes down or straight ahead?
Tags: Ulcerative Colitis
Beautiful post, Pens. You are an inspiration.
What a wonderful perspective on life!
I surrendered to my disease. I’ve had many ups and downs since my diagnosis, but mostly downs. Deep, deep downs. Being afraid to leave the house let alone even roll over in my bed! I was so worried that when I’d roll over that my stomach would turn and I’d be forced to get up and go to the bathroom. That happened to me all the time. My disease also put my on the couch for an entire summer. I didn’t see my friends, travel anywhere, or even leave my house for an entire summer. At one point I even had a nurse come to the house to put an IV in my arm to inject steroids to stop the inflammation. That was the deepest down I’ve been.
Now, with a change of diet, attitude, and lifestyle I have conquered my disease. Although I’m not in remission yet, I no longer experience the same horrible symptoms I once used to experience on a daily basis. I am my disease. It has caused me to change my diet to complete veganism (if thats a word). It took some time to get used to but now I’d say I’m in the “used to” stage where the foods are starting to actually get better. At first I was against it but once I saw the effects a good diet had on me I didn’t want to veer off and eat anything else.
I am so glad that you and I together were able to fight out disease and not let it take over us, but instead we took it over and it has only been uphill since then. I look at it straight ahead, directly in the eyes. It’s the only way to keep my head up, because everyone knows that if your eyes are down then you obviously can’t be walking with your head up high, and thats the only way to live life.
Keep on truckin’ Penin! Love you
As someone who has also suffered from digestive issues this really hit home. Thank you for your positive and encouraging words. You rock!
I remember being there with you in the beginning – and now 3 years later, the way you live your life day to day should serve as a true inspiration to anyone with any sort of ailment. There may not be an absolute cure for every disease, but there are always ways to better your day to day outlook and this is something that you have mastered. You should be commended for dedicating your life to improving the lives of others!
Beautiful post. You have been through a lot these past three years and have come out on top. You continue to thrive and shine. The other night at my house nobody could stop talking about how great you look, and none of them knew anything that you had been through. And you do look fabulous! You have battled with this with your head held high and with such poise. Keep up the hard work with your continuing studies. You truly are an inspiration.
Hey very nice blog!!